Note from a bubble bath:

Your assignment:
Draw a picure of the sound of my smile.

Wet friendship bracelets take forever to dry.

First day on my own at my internship was the best/most exhausting day of my life. Crocheted flowers and tissue paper trees and smiling faces make my life so complete.

Bubble baths rule the world.
and
So do you.

the weekends two days seem so long ago.

friday night.
lirr sketching sweater designs.
alphabet city.
niagra.
kate's.
orlando game.
death & co. ice cream on my boot.

city skyline from a windy rooftop.
two lost episodes
and
too many cigarettes.


saturday drive to bk to check out an apartment.
williamsburg.
gowanus.
park slope.

lobo nachos.
exactly what we wanted - for once.
unsolvable puzzles under bottle caps.
and
curling on the television perched in the branches of the hand shaped tree.

hat drama
and
claymation.

trying to keep my sleepy sick eyes open on the drive home.

belated valentine's card on my stairs.
with
my favorite e.e. cummings poem:

I carry your heart with me

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

Special delivery.

Fat Tire from Cali.

i wish.
i wish.
i wish.

twice a day on the time.

and

over draw bridges.


this time.
i wish.
i had a tape recorder.

so that i could hear your words.
over and over.


i miss you.

Cognitive creativity.

current anthem.

Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Low Anthem - This God Damned House - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

dylan is looking for my nose.

we are headed north.

my hair is getting long.

to match my face.

snowflakes on my eyelashes
weigh down the lids.


be careful.

i will never.

disappear completely.



i will never.

emerge from this place between sleep and awake.



i will never.

learn.



but


i will always.

love.

i want to wake up next to you.

last night.

a a bondy at union hall.
door tickets at a sold out show.


low ceilings and tall men.


well whiskey and taxidermy bird.




the low lights and the heavy scent of cigarette smoke brought in on our clothing.



the bass resonating through my body and words that i have always wanted to

hear
you
say.

working in a mental institution has made me question my sanity.

it's a hard time not to project.

and

not to feel their pain.





it's stronger than ever.










because
this time.

i was certain.



and
now
i am lost.

tonight.

i wanted him
to stay.

i wanted him
to hold me.

i wanted him to do all of those things that he's so good at.

like

making me smile. big.

and

his words. oh, his words.

how he makes me feel like i am one of the most amazing people that he's ever met.

and

how i believe him.
because i can feel it.
and
because he's never let me down.

i am a lucky girl.

with
a pack of forgotten canadian cigarettes.

the train station



will look so different today.

same train.
same spot.

yet.

different.