Last night.
Two awful dreams.

Being chased by zombies into a supermarket and trying to barricade the door.

and

Going up in an elevator and having the ceiling get lower and lower with every floor until it was almost squashing my head.


I am not ready for this.

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek god unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
~Kahlil Gibran

To-Do

Living room window sunset through wet lashes.

time.

has been frozen.

and i am numb.

Roasted red pepper and lime soup.

without the blinders
the gullibility
the hope

there would be no longevity.

I fell off.

probably for good reason.
things have been topsy turvey.

and i have been still.

enough so to keep the thoughts in my head.
really think.
hard.
and
long.

i'm trying to let everything settle into place.
but
not really.
because i thrive on the chaos.

I will be the tomato soup to my Mr. grilled cheese, esq.

and

we will become robots.
but only for a few brief moments.
when
we are having fun.
and
forgetting
the
struggle.

Dylan's hipster hairdo.

Favorite things.

.bubble baths.
.pasta dinners - cooked for me.
.slippers.
.lindenhurst at 3am.
.pillow forts.
.wake-up calls.

Prettygirl.

The band.

Dylan tried to rescue me from the bathtub.

NYE.

Ringing in the new year.