the river was deceptively fierce.
angry.
bellowing down.
sweeping me with it.
and
drowning my hope.

forever came too soon.

every single.
goddamn thing.
is
a
struggle.


the mornings always start off so well.

then
the unanswered phone calls.
the jealousy.
the priorities.
the tears.
the fights in the streets of brooklyn.
the misconstrued words.
the wanting.
the waiting.
the hoping.

the fear.



then

my head on your shoulder.
and
the words spoken as the moonlight filters through the curtains.

and

the empty gatorade bottles.
and
the giraffe named glen.
and
two others on a t-shirt.
and
standing in front of the a/c.
and
filling up the britta at 4:30am.
and
the windy rooftop barking dog.
and
a run through the pouring rain.
and
your skateboard.
and
my shower.
and
your smelly feet.
and
my inability to blow my nose.
and
morning breath.


the morning breath makes it all worth it.

elmo puppets for my nephew.

i want the future
to
start
now.


i want to make pretty things.
while.
you write.
at your desk.

and

the children finger paint the walls with love.

Friday Song.

i want to hold my breath.
but
not for forever.

the past week has been a whirlwind.

the ups and downs make everything real.



the what if's and maybe's make everything unsteady.





i want my feet firmly on the ground.
forever.

like every time our eyeballs meet.


in the mean time i will take shallow breaths.
and
embrace
what
could
be
all
that
i
always
wanted.

a piece of me ended up here:

Raised Fist Respect Board Series | Event Recap

ratsupials. rat/kangaroo hybrid.

taking over the world.

not your average thursday night.

raised fist skate party at the etnies showroom on greene street.
open bar.
muggy basement air.
tall boys.
old friends.
pbr and budwiser.
moms supporting their sons.

illegal substances.

sweaty subway platforms.
ratsupials. (rat/kangaroo hybrid)
blogs about the greatest ideas.
3 to be exact. (just)blog, part deux, and blog -1 (which is, clearly, all about time travel).
raucous behavior. in trains and in bars with bizarre bartenders.
making new friends (with amazing rooftops) in my hood.

liars.

not realizing the time.
and
not drinking water before passing out.

wish you were there.

"you ain't got nothing when you got nothing to lose"

you are right, bob dylan.



these days there's a blurred line between wrong and right.

the line is in the form of a heart.
and
the hearts sutures are ready to come out.

friday song.

Friday Song.

i had a dream about a cemetary.