punched directly in the gut
after opening my mailbox.

the walk upstairs seemed like it took forever.
or
a heartbeat.

and then inside.
bundled in my coat and hood.
my fingers too numb to rip the envelope.

and i began to cry.
immediately.
before unfolding.

then my breath was gone.
and
i was on the floor.
on my knees.

with a puppy licking the tears.