my cabbage tastes like bacon.
there is ham in his potato salad.
i cook fresh beets with the anticipation of pink urine.
dogs don't need professional haircuts.
when you are in possession of 5 different types of scissors.
snot shooting out of my brain every time i sneeze, which is every 5 mins.
i finally set up my etsy shop this weekend.
at least i got dressed today.