51 miles
to goodbyes
and
cheezits.
the musk of a
travel lodge
where we left
the astronaut
but not
our anger.
visits with
zack
always remind me
who i am
and
what i love about that.
dad's kitchen
and
wrong turns.
the cows
precariously perched on the
hillsides.
farm raised
and
waiting to die.
the bay bridge
lets us keep the roof
of the tracker
as the whirl of the wind
reminds us where we exist.
i held my breath.
again and again.
with my feet on the dash.
the mosser hotel.
simple and sweet.
but the nausea in my belly
won't let me live.
motion sickness
or
fear.
fights up hill
and
down touristy streets
through arcades
and
on piers.
when a nap on a windy lawn
is the most necessary thing.
cable cars
and the BART
and
the muni
and
a skateboard
and
the tracker with the roof off.
a bubble bath
a night
would
change
my
life.
in the mission
with haldun
waiting for the thriller video
but not before seeing
ghosts on valencia street.
fish tacos and dylan thomas quotes.
a standoff
in a graffiti alley.
a better day.
driving with the top down.
smiles to sausalito
and
up and down hwy 1.
you can call me al.
while i wear big black sunglasses
and video a journey that began
5 months ago
and won't let go.
i wore a coral dress
and
became someone i am not.
and
it hurt.
everyone.
making serendipitous baseball games
impossible.
and
there are only so many sorrys you can say
when you're not.
delores park holds a moment
frozen in time.
learning the true meaning of
loneliness
on a redeye to a place
that is devoid of
everything ever wanted.
spaghetti sandwiches
mini lions
tomahawks
beavers
chicken pickles
avalanches
flip phones.