An open letter to liquid.

Dear Water:

Oh water. One day we'll be able to live harmoniously and I will be able to consume you in normal increments throughout the day. I'll be hydrated, and you'll have a home in my belly and, consequently, the toilet, and you'll go back to the place you came from. Oh water, when will this utopian lifestyle come to be?

Severely dehydrated and refusing to drink you,